Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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