You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
