Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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