dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
