Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
