i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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