she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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