oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
