dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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