you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Even the bartender felt bad for me
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
