What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
It's shark week go big or go home
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
