just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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