At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
