What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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