Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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