dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize