My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
