No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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