I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
