Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
