I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
