i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
