Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
