i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize