We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
