i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
