Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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