i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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