is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Randomize
