Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Please don't give away my fajitas
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
