my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
