I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
