last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
