He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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