i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
