Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
