But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
