Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
