I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
