That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
