Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I didn't notice because vodka
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
