I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Randomize
