I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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