It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
