is your mom at the bar?
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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