i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
