I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
