that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
