dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
