Already got asked if we're dating
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
His nipple licking is glorious
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