OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
