I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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