I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
