Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
