Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
