The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
