Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
