Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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