Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
