Already got asked if we're dating
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize