This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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