i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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