ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
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