Do you still have your period?
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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